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All Right All Ready
Airdate: Thursday - July 13, 1961

Show Description
Last Sunday's Rallye, after which some participants hazarded an opinion that perhaps the time factors involved were developed by Mr. Magoo using a genuine pre-war Mickey Mouse watch, are sIanderous and largely untrue. I'm sorry to say that I really have no idea what became of the Greenwich Village Motor Sports Club, and George Spinning, the clock man of 19 Christopher Street, a hero who weekly winds our Jefferson Market Courthouse timepiece, called me Monday morning and said we were off by 10 minutes; and the Levittown man that won the scene went to Brooklyn by mistake arid returned to come in at right time to the second; and there was a Muntz Jet there and a Facel-Vega, and two B. M. W.'s, only one of which, I swear it, is mine; and thank you to Rover for the use of a Land-Rover as a rescue truck; and to Tuli Kupferberg, poet without peer, for manning the Wanamaker checkpoint; and to our French lady Madame Josette Faguet, who happily spelled out the identification plaques so that everybody had a Frenchified name; and to the two kooky chicks that womanned the Grove Street checkpoint and, so help me, work nights at The Voice; and last but not least, to Uncle Wally Ballew, out of Bob and Ray, who made the whole thing pay and keeps the publisher smiling. I have made a study of the dead-last-but-finished set, and have come to the conclusion that it takes a very practiced hand to come in after everyone else. If you follow the course and have a low car number, there is always someone you can follow. However, we had two dead-last prizes this year, a Chevrolet Corvair and Plymouth Wagon that followed each other and arrived easily an hour late. The Rallye In a factual area, The Village Voice Rallye was a scheduled meander through a large section of downtown New York, and ran for approximately 15 miles. Forty-two registrants, of which three, a Volvo among them, didn't show, and two others that never left the parking area. The field of 37 cars started off after some delay shortly after 2 in the afternoon. Jean Shepherd gave a running commentary on each machine, as to its pedigree and potentiality and by almost 2 the field was clear and the spectators returned to their Sunday pursuits in and around the park. Although the rallye had a scheduled average time of 1 hour, 34 minutes, time scores turned in by the cars at the finish back in Washington Square varied, front a short of 1 hour, 16 minutes to a long of 1 hour, 54 minutes. The two dead-last American-made ears came in approximately an hour late to find the timekeepers gone and the rallye participants long away to the Versailles Caf on Sixth Avenue to hear the results after scores were calculated. Last Checkpoint After much restless drinking at the Versailles, the Master of Ceremonies of the Rallye, meaning Shep, returned from a matinee that had unaccountably cropped up in his schedule and addressed the by turns surly and jovial rallyeists. The first-place winner, Fred Alpern, had already returned home In his MGA, and was retrieved over the telephone at the home of his navigator in Levittown and given the good news. Second place went to a perennial Voice rallyist, Hal Zucker, mounted on of all things a huge Harley Davidson sidecar rig. Third place went to another MGA, but a fourth went to a jazzy blue Jaguar XK150 that had left the starting grid as if it were Le Mans. The big surprise was the Jag; at the rate he departed, he had been expected back in something under an hour. One new feature of the rallye was the inclusion of identification cards for each car for the edification of the general public, other rellyeists, and small boys.
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